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Guest: James Creighton PhD author of Loving Through Your Differences: Building Strong Relationships From Separate Realities
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February 22, 2019 08:19 AM PST
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This week on Relationships 2.0 my guest is James Creighton PhD author of Loving Through Your Differences: Building Strong Relationships From Separate Realities

About the book: Dr. James Creighton has worked with couples for decades, facilitating communication and conflict resolution and teaching them the tools to build healthy, happy relationships. He has found that many couples start out believing they like the same things, see people the same way, and share a united take on the world. But inevitably differences crop up, and it can be profoundly discouraging to find that one’s partner sees a person, situation, or decision completely differently. Although many relationships flounder at this point, Creighton shows that this can actually be an opportunity to forge stronger ties. In Loving through Your Differences, he draws on the latest research in cognitive science and developmental psychology to show how we invent our realities with our perceptual minds. He then provides clear, concrete tools for shifting our perceptions and reframing our responses. The result moves couples out of the fear and alienation of “your way or my way” and into a deep understanding of the other that allows for an “our way.” As Creighton shows, this way of being together, based on the reality of individuality rather than the illusion of sameness, sets the stage for long-term excitement, discovery, and fulfillment.

About the author: In addition to working with couples, James L. Creighton, PhD, has conducted communication trainings, mediations, and conflict-resolution processes for universities, public schools, the Job Corps, Fortune 500 corporations, and government entities. He lives in Kihei, Hawaii.

Guest: Eva Hagberg Fisher author of How To Be Loved: A Memoir of Lifesaving Friendship
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February 22, 2019 08:10 AM PST
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This week on Relationships 2.0 my guest is Eva Hagberg Fisher author of How To Be Loved: A Memoir of Lifesaving Friendship

About the book: A luminous memoir about how friendship saved one woman’s life, for anyone who has loved a friend who was sick, grieving, or lost—and for anyone who has struggled to seek or accept help

Eva Hagberg Fisher spent her lonely youth looking everywhere for connection: drugs, alcohol, therapists, boyfriends, girlfriends. Sometimes she found it, but always temporarily. Then, at age thirty, an undiscovered mass in her brain ruptured. So did her life. A brain surgery marked only the beginning of a long journey, and when her illness hit a critical stage, it forced her to finally admit the long‑suppressed truth: she was vulnerable, she needed help, and she longed to grow. She needed true friendship for the first time.

How to Be Loved is the story of how an isolated person’s life was ripped apart only to be gently stitched back together through friendship, and the recovery—of many stripes—that came along the way. It explores the isolation so many of us feel despite living in an age of constant connectivity; how our ambitions sometimes pull us apart more than bring us together; and how a simple doughnut, delivered by a caring soul, can become the essence of what makes a life valuable. With gorgeous prose shot through with empathy, pain, fear, and the secret truths inside all of us, Eva writes about the friends who taught her to grow up and open her heart—and how the relentlessness of suffering can give rise to the greatest joy.

About the author: Eva Hagberg Fisher's writing has appeared in the New York Times, T: The New York Times Style Magazine, Tin House, Wallpaper*, Wired, Guernica, and Dwell, among other places. She lives in California and New York City.

Guest: Cheryl Fraser, PhD author of Buddha's Bedroom: The Mindful Loving Path to Sexual Passion & Lifelong Intimacy
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January 24, 2019 09:00 AM PST
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This week on Relationships 2.0 my guest is Cheryl Fraser, PhD author of Buddha's Bedroom: The Mindful Loving Path to Sexual Passion & Lifelong Intimacy
About the book:
In this playful and sexually savvy guide, “Dr. Cheryl” Fraser presents enlivening mindfulness exercises, techniques from couples and sex therapy, and the wisdom of Buddhist teachings to help you spark the passion and thrill you’ve been seeking in your relationship. With this book, couples can break free from the monotony of familiar routines and bring a little nirvana back to the bedroom for a more exciting, loving, and fulfilling connection.

The beginning of a relationship is always thrilling—butterflies in the stomach; that sense that someone really gets you; that “love drunk,” “walking on air” feeling. But as time goes by, and the tedium of daily life intervenes, you may find yourself too busy, tired, or just unmotivated to devote quality time and attention to the connection you crave. So, how do you uncover the passion and thrill you’re longing for, and how can you make it last?

Inside Buddha’s Bedroom, you’ll discover how the essential Buddhist teachings of mindfulness and awakening can be applied to your love life—showing that true passion absolutely is sustainable, if you’re willing to shift your perspective. By exploring your deepest desires and expectations, and also learning to see your partner as they really are, without the need for them to change, you’ll be able to create a deep and mindfully loving connection for a fabulous relationship. And with these spiritually scintillating tips and techniques, you’ll have the keys to igniting and sustaining all the thrill, intimacy, and sensuality you seek.
About the author:
Sharp, frank, and fearless, Cheryl Fraser, PhD, is a Buddhist psychologist and sought-after relationship expert. She has helped thousands of couples jump-start their love life and create passion that lasts a lifetime.

A highly successful and awarded Fulbright scholar, she has conducted extensive research on sexual behavior and what causes love relationships to succeed or fail. With her groundwork, she created the Become Passion online workshop for couples. She has a thriving private practice in sex and couples therapy.

A former talk radio host, Cheryl is a dynamic guest expert for television and radio, appearing on multiple programs, including The Experts, CBC Marketplace, Air America, the Loving Well podcast, and many more.

As a columnist for Mindful and Best Health magazines, Cheryl explores love, sex, relationships, and the human experience. Her approach to life and to helping others is based in her practice of meditation and Buddhism, which she has studied for twenty-five years in both the Tibetan and Theravaden traditions. She was given permission to teach by her root teacher Namgyal Rinpoche, and she is resident meditation teacher for Island Dharma. Her work is encapsulated in the teaching of Mindful Loving, where she brings the Buddha’s teachings into the bedroom.

When Cheryl is not in India, Tibet, or at a three-month silent Buddhist meditation retreat, she lives on Vancouver Island, BC, Canada, with her man and their menagerie, practicing the passion she preaches.

www.drcherylfraser.com

Guest: Judith Belmont author of Embrace Your Greatness: 50 Ways to Build Unshakable Self-Esteem
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January 17, 2019 12:28 PM PST
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This week on Relationships 2.0 my guest is Judith Belmont, MS author of Embrace Your Greatness: 50 Ways to Build Unshakable Self-Esteem
About the book:
It’s time to start feeling good about yourself! In this go-to guide, a licensed professional counselor offers 50 quick tips and tools to help you overcome self-doubt, silence your inner critic, be assertive, boost your self-esteem, and embrace your greatness.

In our image-obsessed world, it’s easy to compare yourself to friends, celebrities, and models. Social media has skewed our perception of reality by only offering images of people at their best. But the truth is that most people struggle with self-criticism and self-doubt—at least some of the time. So, how can you stop paying attention to your inner critic and start focusing on what makes you truly great?

In Embrace Your Greatness, you’ll find powerful—yet incredibly simple—tools grounded in mindfulness, acceptance, self-compassion, and positive psychology to help you start feeling good about yourself. The book includes unique and engaging activities and exercises to help you put a stop to that nagging inner critic, overcome perfectionism, and develop lasting self-confidence. You’ll also discover ways to be more assertive, develop healthy relationships that support a healthy you, and cultivate an unshakable sense of optimism about yourself and your life.

If you need a quick confidence boost, this fun guide offers 50 ways to nix your nagging inner critic and start loving who you are.
About the author:
Judith Belmont, MS, LPC, has been a psychotherapist, motivational speaker, workplace wellness consultant, and mental health coach. Her message of positivity, healthy communication, stress resilience, and self-empowerment has reached thousands nationwide through her books, consulting, and interactive presentations.

She is author of seven mental health and wellness books that offer therapists and their clients, as well as self-help readers, practical solutions to deal with common problems such as low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, and relationship issues. In her books, she offers practical skill-building resources using experiential activities, visualizations, handouts, and worksheets.

Belmont is founder of Belmont Wellness (www.belmontwellness.com) where she offers a variety of mental health and wellness presentations, as well as personal and professional coaching. Her mission to share important life skills and promote self-empowerment and positivity is followed by a wide audience due to her active social media presence on various sites, such as Facebook and Pinterest.

Guest: Kate Gustin, PhD author of The No-Self Help Book
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January 10, 2019 07:25 AM PST
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This week on Relationships 2.0 my guest is Kate Gustin, PhD author of The No-Self Help Book: 40 Reasons to Get Over Your Self & Find Peace of Mind
About the book:
It’s time to get over your self! Written by a clinical psychologist and student of Eastern philosophy, this handy little guide offers a radical solution to anyone struggling with self-doubt, self-esteem, and self-defeating thoughts: “no-self help.” By breaking free of your own self-limiting beliefs, you’ll discover your infinite potential.

There is an insidious, global identity theft occurring that has robbed people of their very recognition of their true selves. The culprit—indeed the mastermind of this crisis—has committed the inside job of creating and promoting the idea that we are all a separate self, which is the chief source of our daily distress and dissatisfaction.

No more than a narrative of personhood pieced together from disparate neural activations, the self we believe ourselves to be in our own minds—although quite capable of being affirming, inspiring, and constructive—often spews forth a distressing flow of worry and second-guessing, blaming and shaming, regret and guilt. This book offers an antidote to this epidemic of stolen identity, isolation, and self-deprecation: no-self (a concept known in Buddhist philosophy as anatta or anatman).

The No-Self Help Book turns the idea of self-improvement on its head, arguing that the key to well-being lies not in the relentless pursuit of bettering one’s self but in the recognition of the self as a false identity born in the mind. Rather than identifying with a small, relative sense of self, this book encourages you to embrace a liberating alternative—an expansive awareness that is flexible and open to experiencing life as an ongoing and ever-changing process, without attachment to personal outcomes or storylines.

To help you make this leap from self to no-self, the book provides forty bite-sized chapters full of clever and inspiring insights based in positive psychology and non-duality—a philosophy that asserts there is no real separation between any of us. So, if you’re tired of “self-help” and you’re ready to explore who you are beyond the self, let The No-Self Help Book be your guide.
About the author:
Kate Gustin, PhD, is a clinical psychologist practicing in the San Francisco Bay Area. She received her education from Princeton University and the University of California, Berkeley; and has worked in a variety of settings over the past twenty-five years as a mental health practitioner: outpatient psychiatry, community mental health clinics, VA Hospital, college counseling services, and currently in private practice. Gustin integrates the science of positive psychology into her psychotherapy, teaching, and consultation, and leads classes and trainings for students, patients, and health care professionals.

Guest: Evan M. Forman, PhD author of Effective Weight Loss: An Acceptance-Based Behavioral Approach
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December 13, 2018 09:00 AM PST
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This week on Relationships 2.0 my guest is Evan M. Forman PhD co-editor/author of Mindfulness and Acceptance for Treating Eating Disorders & Weight Concerns: Evidence-based Interventions About the book: Disordered eating, negative body image, and problems with weight have become an epidemic—and research shows that traditional treatments are not always effective. This professional resource offers proven-effective interventions using mindfulness and acceptance for treating clients with disordered eating, body image, or weight issues—and for whom other treatments have failed. Millions of people in the United States suffer from eating disorders, and dissatisfaction with weight and body type—even in individuals whose weight is considered normal—is similarly widespread. In addition, more than half of Americans could benefit from healthy weight loss. Unfortunately, not all people with eating disorders or weight concerns respond to traditional therapeutic interventions; many continue to suffer significant symptoms even after treatment. What these clients need is an integrated therapeutic approach that will prove effective in the long run—like the scientifically backed methods in this much-needed clinical guide. Edited by Ann F. Haynos, Jason Lillis, Evan M. Forman, and Meghan L. Butryn; and with contributors including Kay Segal, Debra Safer, and Hugo Alberts; Mindfulness and Acceptance for Treating Eating Disorders and Weight Concerns is the first professional resource to incorporate a variety of proven-effective acceptance- and mindfulness-based approaches—such as acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), and mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT)—into the treatment of persistent disordered eating, body image issues, and weight problems. With these evidence-based interventions, you’ll be ready to help your clients move beyond their problems with disordered eating, body dissatisfaction, and weight management once and for all. About the editor/author: Evan M. Forman, PhD, is professor and director of graduate studies for the department of psychology at Drexel University in Philadelphia, PA, as well codirector of the Laboratory for Innovations in Health-Related Behavior Change. His research, which is funded by the National Institutes of Health and the Obesity Society, focuses on using technology and new behavioral frameworks to enhance interventions for health behavior change, especially obesity.

Guest: Ellen Grace O'Brian author of The Jewel of Abundance: Finding Prosperity through the Ancient Wisdom of Yoga
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December 06, 2018 09:17 AM PST
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This week on Relationships 2.0 my guest is Ellen Grace O'Brian author of The Jewel of Abundance: Finding Prosperity through the Ancient Wisdom of Yoga
About the book:
Although millions of Westerners practice yoga simply for its health benefits, the philosophy and wisdom behind the multifaceted discipline have far more to offer. In The Jewel of Abundance, award-winning author and Kriya Yoga teacher Ellen Grace O’Brian reveals an overlooked aspect of yoga: its powerful teachings on prosperity. She draws upon the ancient Vedic tradition of yoga philosophy and practice and shows how spirituality and earthly success can complement each other, leading to realization of the higher Self. O’Brian presents a clear explanation of both the philosophy of yoga and the nuts and bolts of practice, such as setting up a daily meditation routine, incorporating mantras, discerning how to cooperate with universal principles for complete well-being, and cultivating mindfulness in action.

Along the way, she illustrates her lessons with personal stories and timeless sayings from great sages, both Eastern and Western. With O’Brian’s insightful guidance, readers will discover an inexhaustible source of abundance that is available to them whenever they look within.
About the author:
Ellen Grace O’Brian is a teacher, writer, poet, and the spiritual director of the Center for Spiritual Enlightenment in San Jose, California. Ordained by a direct disciple of Paramahansa Yogananda, she has been teaching Kriya Yoga philosophy and practice for over three decades.

Guest: Cindy Goodman Stulberg author of Feeling Better: Beat Depression & Improve Your Relationships with Interpersonal Psychotherapy
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December 06, 2018 09:02 AM PST
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This week on Relationships 2.0 my guest is Cindy Stulberg author of Feeling Better: Beat Depression and Improve Your Relationships with Interpersonal Psychotherapy
About the book:
When it comes to treatment for depression, we have been getting it all wrong. Instead of focusing on just the biochemistry, we need to focus on the importance of relationships. Feeling Better offers a step-by-step guide using a research-proven approach called interpersonal psychotherapy, or IPT, which can help you deal with the issues that may be contributing to your unhappiness. Therapists Cindy Stulberg and Ron Frey have used IPT with clients for more than twenty years and achieved dramatic, lasting results after only eight to twelve weeks. They have now created this accessible, first-of-its kind guide. Feeling Better teaches skills and tools that will allow you to set and achieve goals, articulate feelings, and make constructive decisions. You’ll learn to identify and engage with allies and supporters, deal with difficult people, and, if need be, walk away from harmful relationships.

Cindy and Ron have taught clients — diagnosed with depression or not — to use these skills in virtually every life situation, from preventing divorce to “consciously uncoupling,” raising healthy children, coping with loss, and dealing with addiction. Writing with wisdom, warmth, and humor, they are savvy coaches and inspiring cheerleaders who can offer a lifeline to the depressed and life enrichment to anyone.
About the author:
Cindy Goodman Stulberg, DCS, CPsych, is a psychologist, teacher, wife, mother, mother-in-law, and grandmother. With Dr. Ronald Frey, Cindy cofounded the Institute for Interpersonal Psychotherapy, which trains, supervises, and certifies mental health clinicians in interpersonal psychotherapy. She lives in Ontario.

Guest: Linda Glassel VP of Operations for Back on My Feet
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December 06, 2018 08:49 AM PST
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This week on Relationships 2.0 my guest is Linda Glassel VP of Operations for Back on My Feet
About this organization:
Back on My Feet seeks to revolutionize the way society approaches homelessness. Our unique model demonstrates that if you first restore confidence, strength and self-esteem, individuals are better equipped to tackle the road ahead. For all in need, we aim to provide: practical training and employment resources for achieving independence; an environment that promotes accountability; and a community that offers compassion and hope. For all with the capacity to serve – volunteers, donors, community and corporate partners – we seek to engage you in the profound experience of empowering individuals to achieve what once seemed impossible through the seemingly simple act of putting one foot in front of the other.
Operating in 12 major cities coast-to-coast, Back on My Feet uses running and community to motivate and support individuals every step of the way from homelessness to independence. Our success is measured not only by the health impact of miles run, but also by how many individuals obtain education, employment and housing.
Our National Leadership team manages the local chapter affiliates, providing overall strategic direction, program, marketing and operational guidelines and allowing local teams to focus on delivering their local program, meeting their local financial and programmatic goals and building local relationships. This business model seeks to build a consistent and successful program, brand and experience in each chapter as well as benefiting from shared services and economies of scale. Back on My Feet has one National Board of Directors, which is the legal governing body of Back on My Feet. Each chapter also has an independent Advisory Board to provide fundraising guidance and support.
Back on My Feet is privately funded, and it’s 2017 operating budget was $7.8 million. The organization was originally founded in Philadelphia in 2007 by Anne Mahlum.

Guest: Mitch Abblett PhD (PART 2) author of The Five Hurdles to Happiness
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November 15, 2018 09:00 AM PST
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This week on Relationships 2.0 my guest is Mitch Abblett PhD (PART 2) author of The Five Hurdles to Happiness and the Mindful Path to Overcoming Them About the book: A practical approach to becoming aware of the “five hindrances”–the negative qualities that inhibit living the awakened life–and to breaking free of them in order to live more mindfully, effectively, compassionately. Five obstacles stand in between you and true happiness. What are they and how can you overcome them? Buddhist traditions teach that there are five negative qualities, or hindrances, that inhibit people from living an awakened life. Here, Mitch Abblett gives this teaching a modern, secular interpretation and helps you identify the hurdles that are blocking your contentment—desire, hostility, sluggishness, worry, and doubt—and how you can take your first steps to overcoming them. Combining traditional wisdom with contemporary psychology and using examples from his psychotherapy practice, Abblett uses the hurdles as a frame for engaging you in a process of contemplating your own life and learning to lean into your experience rather than merely repeating bad habits. By doing this, you can break free from the hurdles and live more mindfully, effectively, and compassionately. About the author: Dr. Mitch Abblett is a clinical psychologist, author, consultant and speaker. As a clinician, his services focus on work with children, teens, parents, families and adults with whom he creates solutions for a range of concerns or desired growth areas. A clinician in the Boston area for over 15 years, he brings a wealth of clinical experience from various settings (hospitals, outpatient clinics, residential facilities and therapeutic schools) to his practice. For 11 years he served as the Clinical Director of the Manville School at Judge Baker Children’s Center in Boston – a Harvard-affiliated therapeutic school program for children and adolescents with emotional, behavioral and learning difficulties. He has also served as the Executive Director of the Institute for Meditation and Psychotherapy. As a consultant and speaker, Dr. Abblett empowers changes clients through collaborative, tailored interventions. His consultative and training work focuses on mindfulness, compassion and value-driven action and empowering clients to communicate skillfully and authentically. He improves clients’ school and work effectiveness, reduces the effects of stress, and increases skills for health self-management and daily productivity. Dr. Abblett’s writing includes a mindfulness-based book for clinicians (The Heat of the Moment: Mindful Management of Difficult Clients; WW Norton & Co.), Mindfulness for Teen Depression and Helping Your Angry Teen (both with New Harbinger), five decks of mindfulness practice cards such as Growing Mindful: A Deck of Mindfulness Practices for All Ages: PESI Publishing). His upcoming book, The Five Hurdles to Happiness-and the Mindful Path to Overcoming Them will be released by Shambhala Publications in August 2018. He also blogs regarding mindfulness applications in family and relationships on Mindful.org.

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